I’ve spoken at length about how “Vanderpump Rules” is one of the best things to happen to reality television as a whole, but it may be time to face the music. The first teaser for season 8 has arrived, and let’s just say it looks...sparse.
Interspersed with restauranteur-slash-HBIC Lisa Vanderpump narrating what’s to come with a genius edit of ominous music and fade-outs, the trailer gives us a glimpse of what we already knew from social media (such is the new era of reality TV these days). Jax Taylor and Tom Sandoval are going to have a blowup, which is unfortunate given Jax’s impending nuptials to Brittany Cartwright; Stassi Schroeder and Katie Maloney-Schwartz are going to have it out with Kristen Doute; and Scheana is going...to continue working at SUR!
So, no surprises as far as the original cast is concerned, but then we montage over some faces that are unfamiliar to us fans as of yet. It’s an obvious enough plug that there’s no doubt that producers are going to branch off from the OGs’ drama to include some ~new~ relationships and whatever problems arise from them.
Which we knew was coming, albeit I thought we had some more time given Stassi’s recent engagement to casting director Beau Clark. Let’s face it, though: They’re all growing up, getting married and moving house, and their drama (read: a couple of grieving castmates and lessons in staying sober) are getting a little too real for fun, trashy television. The “kids” of the group, namely James Kennedy, aren't even interesting to watch, and eventually there’ll be some babies in the mix, which doesn’t bode well for a show grounded in cheating scandals, blackouts and annual Vegas trips.
That being said, while I’m vehemently boycotting whatever newcomers Bravo thinks won’t get eaten alive on “Vanderpump Rules,” I’m bracing for the worst -- a cast switchover, at the very least, or *shiver* a cancellation -- by planning ahead for the spinoffs the cast could pitch to the network. You’re welcome, guys.