Over on TikTok, Gen Z has it out for the generation one above them, Millennials. While Gen Z (tweens through 22) are attacking Millennials (ages 23-38) for doing lame things like wearing skinny jeans and parting their hair to the side, Gen Xers (39-54 years old), like me, are equally as shocked to find out that these things are bad. Middle parts are the way to go and baggy mom jeans are cool again, according to the kids. I’m so confused.
Based on no authority invested in them whatsoever, TikTok teens have unilaterally decided that some things are hip and some are not. The laughing crying emoji 😂? For old people only. But skull emojis to show you liked a joke 💀? Super cool.
Also on the list of things that make you ancient: knowing your Hogwarts house, taking selfies -- even saying “selfie” means you are ready for retirement. And making a big deal about loving coffee, bacon or pizza means you need to, like, get a life, old person.
What? Who doesn’t like pizza? Isn’t coffee a universally-loved thing?
But then there are some things I don’t even understand. Like, associating a certain song with the term “little black dress.” I’ve never heard of either example of songs in this TikTok video. Does that mean I’m beyond old? Am I deceased?
I guess these kids, who probably don’t even pay for their own cell phones or health insurance, know what’s cool. But, you know what? Their ire isn’t even pointed at Gen X. It is focused solely on Millennials, because they can't even comprehend anyone older. Gen X is barely even mentioned on TikTok because it’s like we don’t even exist. As far as Gen Z and Millennials are concerned, we have left the chat.
In that case, while no one is looking, Gen Xers and Boomers, keep rocking the skinny jeans, taking selfies from your good angles and knowing the proper part to wear in your hair to frame your face. We have the ultimate freedom to do whatever we want.
Gen Z and Millennials can keep on battling. Gen Xers will be the forgotten generation, as always. We were latchkey kids -- we’re fine with this, actually.
Listen, we know we’re old by your standards. You can’t hurt us, TikTok kids.
Ouch, that hurts.