Have you seen that new movie with Republican Chris, The Magician and Chad Something? We hear it’s really good and has broken box office records.
For fans of Marvel movies, we all have that one friend who wants
to tag along to “Avengers: Infinity War” after seeing only one or two of the
previous 18 movies. There’s a lot of plot and backstory to keep up with, not to
mention 32 essential characters. If your friend isn’t up to speed, it’s kind of
a pain to explain it all.
Gabrielle Regan-Waters, a molecular biologist from
Michigan, quizzed her wife Brenda on the "Infinity War" cast. Brenda, having only seen "Captain America" and "Thor," gave some very interesting names that are quite honestly better than the real names.
She got the basics down, like Iron Man and Captain America, but then it all went
sideways after that. She calls Thor “Chris”(technically correct?), Black Widow is “Rogue”
(wrong franchise, but I see how that could happen) and Gamora is “She Hulk”
(in her defense, that is a real character and they do look strikingly similar).
The funniest group by far are the "Black Panther" characters who,
instead of going by Okoye, Shuri, Man-Ape and Ayo, are “War Maiden,” “War
Maiden’s Daughter,” “War Maiden’s Son” and “War Maiden’s Wife.” Now we’re crying and also really want to see this movie.
It comes as no surprise that "Guardians of the Galaxy" director James Gunn got a kick out of the tweet as well.
Who doesn’t call Colbie Smulders’s Maria Hill “Robin”
after her “How I Met Your Mother” character? Robin Sparkles is an Avenger, after
all. I’ve seen all the MCU movies multiple times and still have no
idea what Benicio del Toro’s Collector character's name is, so “Willy Wonka”
will do. Oh, and we would also like to know why there's a raccoon amongst all these superheroes. He must belong with “Troot.”
What is that snail girl’s name anyway? Good enough, Brenda.
How is it any different from this?
Brenda did a fantastic job -- much better than my mom could have. We hope she gets to see the movie now. Or not, since she apparently doesn’t really give a sh*t about it in the first place...
Trash panda...er...Rocket approves.