This week's pick: "Hellboy" (2004), a wonderfully, bloody-fun film that helped define the superhero genre we've come to know and love in the 21st century. But, as is tradition in Hollywood, "Hellboy" is getting a reboot, which makes today's "What's On Wednesday" especially special. Not only are we celebrating one film (and the fact that it's on Netflix), we're diving into the comparisons and contradictions it faces in the face of a remake.
It's Ron Perlman vs. David Harbour.
It's Guillermo del Toro vs. Neil Marshall.
It's "Hellboy" vs. "Hellboy" and it's the unofficial showdown of the century -- and YOU just got a front row ticket.
(Catch is, "Hellboy" [2019] looks kinddddaaaaaaaa f*cking dope.)
Buckle up, buddy. We're about to go in.
<p>What's it about, you ask?</p>
Unhandled
- You may note that Hitler really died in 1945. The quote is accurate. Things are different in the "Hellboy" universe.
- You may also note that this quote has little-to-nothing to do with the movie itself, but it does provide a solid background story for you to understand the movie. So, nooo complaining!
- I want to be in the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense. BPRD for short.
Alright, back to the important stuff.
Picture this: It's 2004 in New York City and some giant, slimy, scary, tentacle-y monster is ripping through the city, killing all in its path. Who are you gonna call? Not the "Ghostbusters." Those guys couldn't even handle this stuff. You call "Hellboy," and he, for lack of a better phrase, f*cks sh*t up. Well...most of the time.
This time, he scares the giant, slimy, scary, tentacle-y monster away, but not before it lays a couple eggs, throws a parasite here or there and then rises like a phoenix from its own ashes in the form of TWO giant, slimy, scary, tentacle-y monsters!
From there on out, we get ancient, evil Russian demon-clerics, disgruntled Nazis and a portal to another dimension where the "Ogdru Jahad" reside. Thankfully, they're just the seven gods of chaos so like -- nothing to worry about.
The rest is just pure, action-packed corniness.
And it's amazing.
But what makes it <i>different</i>?<div><sup>And why should I care?</sup></div>
First thing's first, I'm calling it right now: In five to 10 years, "Hellboy" is going to be cult-classic. I will literally bet you money (and by money, I mean Dailybreak points). It has all the right ingredients! A critically-acclaimed director, a devoted fan base, outrageous one-liners and everything else early-2000s movies do so well.
Furthermore, what we touched on earlier...the reboot. THE. REBOOT. Quite possibly of the century. Sure, there have only been 19 years so far and yeah, "The Dark Knight" trilogy IS a true cinematic masterpiece, but I'm (also) calling this right now. "Hellboy" (2019) is going to be straight fire. Sorry, I had to say it.
Believe it or not, Ron Perlman is actually pretty broken up about it.
As I mentioned earlier, this time, Hellboy will be played by none other than Chief Hopper of Hawkins, Indiana. If that sounds familiar, it's because it's from Netflix's own "Stranger Things." The actor's real name, also mentioned earlier, is David Harbour.
At first, our whole office was pretty skeptical about his ability to fill Perlman's shoes, but the trailer convinced us otherwise.
If you're still on the fence...
- Watch the movie! It's on Netflix, after all. You can always switch back to "The Office" or "Parks & Rec."
- Watch the trailer for "Hellboy" (2004) below. It's rad.
- Read up on the lore! It's a lot more interesting than you might think.
- Read the original "Hellboy" comics!
- Think about what you'd do if you could be Hellboy.
- Just watch it.