By now, we all know what it's like to quarantine. Staying home, looking at the same four walls all day long, communicating only with your cat and/or picking fights with members of your household as the stir crazy slowly sets in. Now imagine if you had to do that with, like, your exes and unlimited alcohol.
This was the reality for the cast of Bravo's "Summer House." We assumed that the show, which typically finds a group of New York frenemies renting out a house in the Hamptons for summer weekends, getting into all kinds of shenanigans per Bravo usual, would be put on hiatus amid COVID-19, since gatherings were frowned upon in general and television sets had to jump through hoops to get the OK for production.
'Twas not the case: "Summer House" filmed relatively on schedule...just with a few changes, the biggest being that they were quarantined together. No more returning to Manhattan during the week -- instead, Kyle Cooke, Amanda Batula, Lindsay Hubbard, Carl Radke, Hannah Berner, Paige DeSorbo, Luke Gulbranson, Danielle Olivera and newcomer Ciara Miller (an actual real-life COVID frontline worker) were together all. the. time.
The season, airing now, is like "The Real World," but with more awful sunburns.
You thought you were breaking down spending every waking moment with your household? Lindsay, who got into a fight with her ex over sandwiches says, "Hold my beer."
Bravo aficionado Danny Pellegrino, whose credits include co-writing "Fancy AF Cocktails" with "Vanderpump Rules" couple Ariana Madix and Tom Sandoval and hosting the "Everything Iconic" podcast, like us, is completely fascinated with this "Summer House" season's format.
And he got to thinking...
To jog your memory, seasons 2 through 5 of "Vanderpump Rules" were messy, each in their own right. By season 6, people were married and mental health and addiction started playing a big role, which tends not to track well with audiences just wanting to watch drinks get thrown in people's faces.
In season 2, Jax is still pining after Stassi and getting caught having cheated with Kristen. Season 3 finds Sandoval and Ariana getting together. Lala shows up in season 4. And season 5 is all about Schwartz and Katie's pre-marital issues. Doozies, all of 'em!
Now imagine if the cast had been quarantined during all of that? Bravo fans rushed to Pellegrino's replies to decide what would happen, to who and how long it would take for everyone to snap. The resounding opinion is that any kind of quarantine would result in murder.
Scheana, we think, would be the biggest casualty.
There's no way everyone would be practicing safe COVID measures.
Kristen Doute would be responsible for...everything.
Poor Schwartz just wouldn't make it.
And Jax would remain insufferable but ultimately make it out alive, which is very on brand for him.