Don’t throw your pink sparkly stilettos or your aviator
sunglasses at me, but I am not happy about the news that sequels to "Legally Blonde" and "Top Gun" officially moving forward.
It’s a pretty simple reason why: sequels suck.
Hollywood loves sequels. They seem like easy money since there's a built-in audience and they’re
not difficult to concept since, instead of a new risky idea, you’re visiting a
favorite character you know and it’s just a continuation of the story. But when
it’s not organic, it feels forced.
In case you forgot, there was already a sequel to "Legally Blonde" called "Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde." Elle, now a lawyer, heads to Washington
D.C. to get animal rights legislation passed. I think I saw this movie in the
theater, it was not iconic in the way "Legally Blonde" was and it was totally
forgettable. "Legally Blonde 3" will likely be more of the same.
Despite being cinematic comfort food, sequels are generally
tough to pull off. They have a lot to live up to if the first movie was great
and for every "Godfather II" and "Empire Strikes Back," there are dozens of bad ones like "Speed 2," "Ghostbusters II" and "Grease 2." A good movie is lightning in a bottle:
the right people creatively coming together on a project to make a story
uniquely and well told when the time is right for it to be properly received by
audiences. "Dirty Dancing" is amazing, infinitely watchable, endlessly quotable
and it was special when it was released in 1987. It was edgy, retro and new all
at the same time with stars that had amazing chemistry. "Dirty Dancing: Havana
Nights" had none of those things. Of course it failed.
Even the original cast returning for a sequel can’t save it. "T2 Trainspotting"? Nobody cared. "Anchorman II: The Legend Continues"? Meh. Maybe
they were trying too hard the second time around and you can’t force genius. Or
maybe we realized the first wasn’t that good to begin with.
I’m sure Elle Woods is a very successful lawyer now. I just
don’t know if I need to see it. Can Reese Witherspoon still pull off cutesy in
her forties? We know Tom Cruise is an incredible action star. But I also find him a little skeevy with all that goes on in his personal life. Plus, part of the fun of "Top Gun" was the rapport between Maverick and Goose. Since (32-year-old spoiler alert) Goose
(Anthony Edwards) is dead, are they going to try to replace his character with
a younger guy? My eyes are rolling into the back of my head.
I am so happy that "Sex and the City 3" has fallen apart. The first movie was OK, the second movie was appalling in so many ways, from
being culturally insensitive to a desert sequence involving camel toes. How
many times can Carrie and Big break up before you don’t care anymore? Leave me
my memories of the original and come up with some new ideas please.
Now that these two movies are rolling, I hope they are
amazing and we get the sequels we want. Even if they aren’t, Hollywood will
continue to churn them out. Stay tuned for "An Even Quieter Place" and "Call Me By
Your Name 2: Call Me By Your Last Name" due in 2023.