When the news broke recently that this summer’s “Love Island” taping was canceled due to COVID-19, it was a such a bummer -- we were looking forward to a mindless celebration of perfect-looking
people romping around on a pristine beach. Luckily, Netflix was able to get “Too
Hot to Handle” in the can before any type of social distancing needed to
happen. And it is a celebration, all right -- a festival of beautiful idiots like
no other.
Like many dating shows, professional model-looking, bathing suit-clad singles are led into a luxury villa (in this case, Casa Tau in Punta
Mita, Mexico). The contestants think they are there to look for love, which they
are, but these people aren’t your ordinary singles -- they are self-professed serial
flingers who tend to hook up too quickly and don’t form lasting relationships.
On their first night, the contestants are informed via Lana,
an Alexa-type smart device, that they are there to grow and establish emotional
intimacy with a partner and therefore must refrain from sexual intimacy of any type, including
kissing, sex or even self-pleasure. Hugging and cuddling is OK, going further
is not. Every infraction will ding the $100,000 prize bucket. You can see from
the look on their faces that this will not be an easy challenge for the
extremely thirsty group. Needless to say, they mess up regularly during the series
and manage to lose cash every darn episode. These people cannot keep it in
their pants. So much for social distancing.
What makes the show funny is that most of these people are
so dumb. Like, really dumb. Haley, upon meeting Harry from Australia, remarks, “I
don’t know where that is.” Seeing the hamster wheel turn in their hot little
brains is part of the charm. To resist physical temptation seems unthinkable
for them, even when a kiss will cost them thousands of dollars. It’s both frustrating
and hilarious.
Another highlight of the show is narrator Desiree Burch. She’s got a
bitingly salty quip for every boneheaded action and reaction of the contestants, and she always seems to know exactly what you’re thinking. She takes to calling
long-haired contestant Matthew “Jesus,” which the show then milks for holy
laughs.
If the premise of the show sounds familiar, it’s because the
producers were inspired by that famous “Seinfeld” episode “The Contest,” where
Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine make a bet to see who can go the longest being
“The Master of Their Domain.” You have to wonder if their bet would be even
shorter if they were on a tropical island with free booze and bikinis.
If you are stuck at home, frustrated by the lack of people
physically in your life and missing beachy fun, tune into this show and see people who have it worse -- they have the lay of the land on a tropical beach, hot people right next to them, and they still can’t touch.
At the worst, it’s satisfyingly dumb eye candy. At its best, it’s a study at
how human connection trumps everything -- even cold, hard cash.