We enjoy watching "The Bachelor" because of the petty drama that we'd definitely be too good for; the ridiculous things the producers make the men and women say and do; and because maybe, just maybe, the love is actually real and sweet and lovely.
Last night's episode offered a great mix of all of the above -- Pieper went on a beautiful carnival one-on-one date with Matt, Serena C. came for Katie for absolutely no reason and the women were absolutely thrown by the arrival of Heather Martin.
But, if I'm being honest, I mostly enjoy watching "The Bachelor" because of the online camaraderie. It's a ritual at this point: Watch the episode, read the funny recaps, listen to the judgmental podcasts and scroll through all the best tweets that echo the exact sentiments rolling around in my head.
There was a lot of content in the episode to propel the online chatter, but I was expecting most of it to be about Martin. And, indeed, it was -- but not for the reasons I would have thought.
Martin, who competed for Colton Underwood's heart a few years ago, showed up halfway through the season, rolling up to the Nemacolin Resort and asking Chris Harrison for the opportunity to meet Mr. James. You see, Martin is BFFs with previous Bachelorette Hannah Brown, who spent a lot of time with James and her runner-up and James' roommate, Tyler Cameron, during March and April. According to Martin, Brown went back to California raving about how well Martin and James would get on. Cut to James being announced as the Bachelor, and Martin felt like she had to at least meet him before he potentially got engaged.
Last night, we watched as Martin quarantined and went through COVID testing in a separate hotel in order to be allowed on Nemacolin property, and the episode ended just as she came face to face with James. Naturally, the women were suuuper annoyed, but we'll have to wait to see the full aftermath.
You would think that this whole saga would be the topic of online conversation, but alas, it was Martin's mode of transportation that's getting the buzz. You see, this beautiful, blonde, southern California bombshell rolled up in a minivan.
She confirmed it on Instagram, but we had already figured that it was a rental -- on Martin's own dime, most likely. I can't imagine producers would shell out some cash for a woman that they didn't even cast, but then again, perhaps the Florida plates and overall ridiculousness of the minivan are all part of the show's plan to make this all look ~authentic~. But, come on, you can't expect me to believe that Chris Harrison had no idea Heather was on her way.
As it is, the Bachelor Nation side of Twitter was sufficiently confused by Martin's choice of ride.
I know she's not really part of the cast, but really, can someone get this girl a limo?