Welcome to 2017, where the world might be an uncertain place, but there are at least a few constants we know we can depend on. Primarily: 1) the Trump administration is pretty chaotic 2) juice cleanses are boujee AF and 3) Steve Bannon is a crazed man. This brings us to what has to be the most 2017 sentence ever: Steve Bannon is preparing to fight the Trump administration by going on a juice cleanse.
When Bannon was kicked out of the White House, the former Trump advisor returned to the alt-right cesspool that is Breitbart and announced his plans to launch an all-out war on the president and his administration. Some sources said Bannon was "fully unchained" while others warned, "He's going nuclear...This is gonna be really f*cking bad."
But, let's be real, Bannon isn't in great shape. According to some sources, he drinks a whole lot and he isn't exactly #Fitspo. Not one to sugarcoat things (beyond, perhaps, his breakfast cereal), Bannon has clearly admitted to himself that he needs to improve his health before he launches an attack on Trump. Hence the juice cleanse he recently started.
"Steve has even started a green juice regime and hired a trainer," a Breitbart staffer said, according to journalist Mike Cernovich. Looks like Big Boy Bannon is getting fit and bulking up!
Literally the only way this news could be more of a 2017 cliche is if Bannon somehow managed to recruit the White Walkers to defeat the president. Which, at this point, I honestly wouldn't even be surprised to see.
Brace yourself, Trump -- Bannon is coming.