The Pop-Tart A Day account on Instagram loves to yank our chains with some pretty ridiculous and fake Pop-Tart combos it devilishly conjures via Photoshop. Since February, they have found new and disgusting ways to simultaneously tantalize and torture us. Some of their combos include:
Hot Dog Pop-Tarts (with Ketchup and Mustard)
Hand Sanitizer Pop-Tarts
and Deviled Eggs Pop-Tarts
But then, one of their fake-outs became a fan favorite as it blended two classic brands, leading to a little war of tweets between the companies.
Hidden Valley Ranch, the funnier of the two brands, playfully responded that they should team up with Pop-Tarts and “give the people what they want."
Pop-Tarts, whose Twitter account must be run by a bunch of grumpy old men, played it cool and said “lol, no.”
Another user chimed in to say “Make it happen, chief.”
Grumpy Pop-Tarts clapped back again with “Delete your account, chief.”
Too late, chief, because country music star Josh Gallagher already wrote a tribute song:
Sadly, I fear this ranch/breakfast pastry collaboration will not get off the ground.
But here’s the thing -- this is not the worst idea, actually. Yes, some of the flavors on Pop-Tart A Day are downright nasty (orange juice and toothpaste, anyone?) but this, this is a missed opportunity. Hear me out; the Pop-Tart crust is basically buttery, neutral if not savory, like a piece of bread. Ranch dressing, or salad frosting as Kraft is trying to make happen, does taste good on lots of savory things like potatoes, bread and pretzels.
Picture this: Hidden Valley Ranch Pop-Tart croutons! Pop-Tart A Day already suggested Pop-Tart Croutons, so just replace the frosting with savory salad frosting and you have the Chicken Bacon Ranch Salad with Pop-Tart Croutons of your dreams!
Anyone out there agree?
If you’re not into that, how about another one of Pop-Tart A Day's monster creations? Might we suggest Nyquil Yoplait?
Or avocado and egg juice for millennials to waste their paycheck on? Brunch will never be the same!
We say cool it with the blue cheese flavor though. Blue cheese will never be ranch, no matter how hard it tries.