Personally, we've never seen someone pull off a successful birthday cake face-smash. It's kind of like a double rainbow or a full water bottle flip -- it just doesn't happen in real life! And when it does, it's...depressing. Who wants to watch someone's birthday get ruined?! (Apparently, entire cultures. Cake smashes, or "la mordida," are a Mexican birthday tradition and are actually a sign of endearment. Who knew?)
Unhandled
Not only has our tiny Captain America bested the face-cake-smash odds, he duped the siblings or family members behind him who were undoubtedly preparing to do the deed themselves, cementing his place atop the world's cool pedestal and proving once and for all that a job worth doing, is a job worth doing well. Straight aces on this one, little dude. You're going places.
Sidebar: If you do want to watch someone's birthday get ruined and smash their face into a cake, tell them there are bubbles in it. They'll look at you inquisitively, and all you have to do is simply insist that the cake is bubbling. "Yeah! Look closer dude, it's almost fizzing!" They'll instinctively move their face closer to the cake. "No you have to get closer," you'll say, until they're inches away, at which point you go ahead and smash their face into the cake. Or, that's what we've been told. From a friend. Not us. Definitely not us.
