It’s the middle of the night. I can feel my little one scooching in next to me in bed. His brother follows because he had a bad dream and there’s a scary noise outside. I squint at the clock and realize if I shut my eyes right away, we can all get another three hours of sleep before the alarm goes off. As our queen-sized bed is now overcrowded, my husband rolls out, hoping to chase sleep in one of the now empty beds down the hall. Sometimes I wish we had a giant bed.
Mattress company Taylor & Wells has answered my large prayer and unveiled the “The Family Bed XL.” This luxurious memory foam mattress is 12 feet wide (which is twice as big as a California King). It sleeps six adults, or two adults and a couple of pint-sized starfish sleepers, if you’re keeping track. Damn, this thing can probably handle a couple of horizontal sleepers as well. It'll set you back $2,800 but think of it as one bed for well below the price of six.
To gild the lily, the bed has adjustable options so family story time is comfier, like cooling gels for when your little human heating pads snuggle in close. It’s really too bad this miracle won't fit inside my 10-foot-wide bedroom.
Why don’t I just kick the kids out, you ask? Well, the path of least resistance is usually the easiest (welcome to Lazy Parenting 101). Before we had children, my husband and I vowed we would never share our bed. Alas, we soon joined the ranks of accidental co-sleepers when our kids were small. At the time we realized we could all get some sleep instead of trying to fight them all night long.
All is usually well until my little one does the trick where he scrunches the sheets down and proceeds to sleep on top of the covers (so we can’t pull ‘em back up) and my older one gives me a play-by-play on how he can’t sleep.
Maybe this is worth calling a contractor to widen my bedroom. Or I could just wait until the kids leave for college (I’m lazy and tired, remember?). Did I mention The Bedding Mart will throw in the giant sheets for free when you purchase via its web site? A comforter and sheet set combo is $500. I hope they sell a humongous mattress pad for when a kid had too much juice that day and decides to unload. (Note: they do.)