You and your beloved didn't break up. You "purposively disbanded." You are obnoxious.
In fact, you tell people you'd rather do hard drugs than consume Cheez Whiz.
It's fine that you take pride in your success, but stop talking about it so much while nibbling on your $45 salad (that you order daily for lunch).
Stop it with the #blessings hashtag. We get it. We know you are covered in blessings all day long.
But you only reveal their first names so that someone asks "As in 'Carter'"? You guys "are practically family." Neat.
Even if they're dangerous or haven't been proven effective.