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The internet can be a wild place. Hidden in corners in the furthest
reaches are bizarre, golden little nuggets. Take this recently unearthed gem from the now-defunct Lucky Peach magazine, a foodie's haven. Though they ceased
publication in 2017, they left a little treasure behind for us to find when we
needed it most.
I present to you: Disney princesses as hot dogs!
We’ve seen Disney princesses re-imagined in every other way: millennials, career women and villains, so why not hot dogs?
Lucky Peach writers Anna Hezel and Gabriella Paiella created
the wiener princesses as part of a darkly funny Deranged Crafts series in which
they tried to think of how Disney princesses could inspire them. “And
obviously we thought of hot dogs. Disney has never created a princess who was a
hot dog (dumb, in our opinion). Imagine if all of their princesses were hot
dogs. So inspiring. Wow,” they wrote. Agreed.
The pair even go into painstaking detail how you, too, can make
hot dog royalty at home. Pocahontas’ instructions include, “Cut a short,
one-shouldered dress out of American cheese, then use a knife to delicately
create fringe detailing. Use mustard to belt it and cut out a small string of
onion skin for a necklace.” As for Rapunzel, they keep it short and
sweet with a simple “Onions!!!!!!!!!!” Ariel's detailing includes some
spicy Sriracha hair, while Belle rocks a barbecue
sauce coif.
In full parody mode, the duo closed their story by saying, “We
can’t stress enough how inspiring it was to see the Disney princesses as hot
dogs. It was incredible to imagine these hot dogs doing all of the great, passive things that the original princesses did, like looking nice, singing
beautiful songs, marrying princes (hot dog wedding!) and getting helped by men.” Lol -- nailed it!
Now for a closer look at these beauties: