The first cardinal rule of attending a wedding is simple and finite -- don't upstage the bride. Well, you shouldn't upstage the couple that is getting married, but nine times out of 10 the bride is the one who will have your throat if you ruin her special day. I don't think of myself as a future bridezilla, but if someone proposed to their significant other and/or announced their pregnancy at my wedding I would be absolutely livid. Unluckily for one couple, a "friend" of theirs did just that.
The unnamed bride recently wrote in to Slate Magazine's "Dear Prudence" column asking if she was right in being angry about the situation. Uh, obviously you have a right to be mad! Why is this even a question?
“My husband and I started dating, got pregnant, had a child, moved in together, bought a house and got a dog in that order," the woman wrote. "Our friends and family have asked us for years why we weren’t married yet. We always pushed it off to build better lives. We’ve done really well for ourselves and finally reached a point where we could afford a huge blowout wedding to celebrate our lives with everyone we know and love. My husband’s best friend, ‘John,’ was the best man/officiant.
“The setting was beautiful, everyone seemed happy, our families were overjoyed. My mum may have used the phrase ‘hallelujah’ a few dozen times. The entire atmosphere felt moving.
“So moving in fact that John stopped mid-ceremony to propose to his longtime girlfriend, ‘Jane’, and reveal her pregnancy.”
As if this wasn't bad enough, John apparently made the rest of the day all about him and Jane.
“I couldn’t even hear the vows my husband wrote or the rest of the ceremony over the noise of Jane’s happy sobs, her very surprised family who were also guests and people seated nearby congratulating her. Even the videographer cut to her frequently during the ceremony and you can’t hear anything over the chatter,” the bride explained.
“When John gave his toast, he apologised for being caught up in the moment and then proceeded to talk about he and Jane’s future with nary a mention of us. During the reception John and Jane became the primary focus of our guests.”
Apparently John even requested that the band play a special song for him and Jane to dance to while the actual bride and groom looked on.
“I am so shocked and angry that I keep asking myself if this is real life,” the bride said. “My husband hasn’t spoken to John since the wedding and our mutual friends think what he did was rude but that my husband should just get over it. My husband has joked that he’ll resume his friendship when John and Jane give him a $40,000 check for ‘their half of the wedding.’”
Obviously, this is a tricky situation because John and the bride's husband have been friends for years. Then again, you'd think as a long-time friend John would have the decency not to turn said friend's wedding day into a celebration for himself. WTF, dude?
Prudence agreed, telling the bride that she has every right to be angry and that her husband needs to tell John how much he sucks.
"I think it merits a fight! In between 'getting over it' and 'never speaking to John again' is the happy medium of 'having a difficult conversation with a longtime friend who did something selfish and self-absorbed on your wedding day.' He’s your husband’s best friend, so your husband should tell John just how upset his behavior during your wedding made him."
Amen, sister. Personally, I'd plan a revenge baby and give birth at John and Jane's wedding. But that's just me.