Beer mile races. They’re a thing.
They’re organized on the DL to avoid any kind of incident with open container laws (fairly cut-and-dry in Vancouver, where this race took place), but they exist. The rules are simple: run a mile while pausing at four pit stops along the way to chug a beer. The catch? You need to finish your damn beer.
Corey Bellemore did not.
Bellemore, the reigning Beer Mile World Classic champ, finished his mile in four minutes and 24 seconds, something that I can’t even wrap my unathletic mind around, which broke his 2016 record of 4:33. That’s basically a 12-ounce beer a minute, while running, when you’re going by the race rules. Runners must stop every quarter-mile to drink their beer, and in the case of vomiting, extra laps around the track are doled out as penalties.
The key, apparently, is to drink so fast that you break pace as little as possible, but not to drink so quickly that you’re doubled over on the sidelines. Then again, you could do what Bellemore apparently did and cut corners -- the corners here being that last sip of stout.
Bellemore, obviously looking to defend his title, was disqualified on a pretty important ruling: He left behind a whole half an ounce of one of his beers. So the crown went to Dale Clutterbuck instead, who clocked in 26 seconds later.
“All I am thinking about during a beer mile are those simple things...run fast, chug fast, burp and breathe,” Bellemore told The National Post after his win last year.
Well...do better, Bellemore.
The Beer Mile races started in the ‘80s on college campuses -- I’m sure we have the Chads and Brads of the world to thank -- and has grown to include more than 7,000 different organized races around the globe.
Better luck next chug!